"Music & Me & Me & Music"

(& Blacktop Mojo)

Music has been my passion for as long as I can remember. My earliest memories all start somewhere in the midst of Pink Floyd, The Alan Parsons Project, & Elton John - some of my Mom's favorites in the 70's - it was like I didn't really exist before that, or maybe I was just waiting for the right sound to reach my ears... 

That "right sound" is rock & roll, and it always has been. And the words... oh, God the words... I used to play records & cassette tapes over & over again, lifting that needle and backing up, pressing stop & rewinding, to make absolutely sure of the lyrics (pre-Internet, that's what we had) so I wouldn't sing a single part wrong - and I sang. Out loud, even when my Mom ridiculed me for it, in front of the mirror with my round hairbrush - getting ready for the day when my star would finally shine... The soundtrack of my life became larger & longer & LOUDER as I listened to albums in their entirety & found the songs that deserved airplay but never got it, songs that spoke what I was feeling & going through that most people never even heard - if I couldn't be the master of my own destiny, I would at least control the music that played in the background. 

Needless to say, my star never did shine in the music world, but I never once let go of that dream that someday it just might... 

 I sang in the Jazz Band in high school (South Sumter, Class of '85) - the Scorpions, Def Leppard, Stevie Nicks. Yep, that's right.

I sang to my kids - all the time. (the two most prominent songs being Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Simple Man", for my son - Boston's "Amanda" for my daughter who carries the name of that tune)

Guns & Roses, Alice in Chains, Soundgarden, Pearl Jam, Metallica, Oasis, Matchbox 20, The Nixons, - just a little piece of a list as long as the years that marched on. And through it all, I sang. 

I sang with a band that never really got off it's feet, I sang Karaoke in bars where nobody was really listening, I sang in church choir, I sang & I sang & I sing to this day. 

I held on to the music of my memories, but I kept the door open for new bands & new songs to come on in. Always rock & roll, though. The exceptions to that rule are few & far between.

Seether came along & knocked me for a loop - & Breaking Benjamin, Shinedown, Staind, Daughtry, Theory of a Deadman all followed suit. So many songs to play, so many songs to sing & I sing them all.

The Internet opened up a window to bands I might never have heard of otherwise, and I plunged in, finding Plan Three, Starset, My Darkest Days, Like a Storm, Adelita's Way, Stealing Eden, etc... and etc... and etc... 

My husband learned to gauge my mood by the music - or tried. He once walked in as I sang one of my favorite sad songs, & listening, he assumed that I was upset or sad about something, & asked me what was wrong - I was puzzled when I told him nothing was wrong - then realized that he thought the song defined the mood. I let him in on the secret that day, that no matter what song I happen to be singing, no matter how sad, when I am singing, I am happy. And it should be said, as a testament to him and what we have been building for two decades now - just how much I love him, that I am almost always singing. I love you Joe. 

It's when I get quiet that folks should worry. And most of the time, I am singing. (Did I say I love you, Joe? Oh, well, I am gonna say it again)

Times where I can't listen to music are hard for me. I get anxious and irritable when I can't hear my life's soundtrack in the background. After all, I am not here for the movie, I'm here for the music. The movie is gonna go however it was meant to go - but I get to orchestrate the tune(s) & I fully intend to make sure THIS soundtrack is freaking awesome.

 I have mourned the loss of musicians like they were my best and closest friends. I remember the first one that REALLY hit me hard way back in high school- Randy Rhoads, guitarist for Ozzy. I heard the news and for a moment, the music stopped playing and time stood completely still. Later, Layne Staley (AIC), Scott Weiland (STP), Chris Cornell (Soundgarden, Audioslave, Temple of the Dog), Chester Bennington (Lincoln Park), Tom Petty & Prince (to name a few) left holes that caused actual, physical pain - holes that can be patched over with the music they left behind, but will never be truly filled because of the songs of the future that will never be heard.

YouTube brought the chance to share lyric videos that one could create (thanks so much Microsoft for Power Point & my college prof, Christine Naylor for teaching me how powerful a slide show could be, especially when it's converted to video) and insert their own input through a choice of visuals, transitions, and animations.

Plan Three's "Be Still My Heart"  hit me at an extreme low point, as my life momentarily turned upside-down & I feared I would lose everything, most importantly myself, and the resulting lyric video (which was not released as it was originally created due to some technical issues) laid my state-of-mind (& state-of-heart) open for all to see. The final product still echoes of the turmoil I was feeling at the time, and still brings tears to my eyes even years later.

My youngest brother, Jason, another musician who deserves far more recognition than he has received, wrote & recorded the song "Fragile" - and my decision to create the lyric video for that one made it possible for us to find each other, after years and years of not knowing. His entire CD, "Releasing Endorphins" is full of wonderful music, but "Fragile" was my ultimate favorite. He has the talent with instruments and mixing that I never acquired, my voice is all I have to offer other than interpreting other's songs into words and images on screen so EVERYONE has the chance to sing along & get the words right. 

 Not long ago, my best friend, Melody came at me in a state of extreme excitement (she and I share our passion for music, especially new music and bands) telling me I had to stop everything immediately & listen to this song... Song in question turned out to be "Underneath" by Blacktop Mojo - a band from Texas, who, just a few years into their own musical journey, has hit the ground running with an awesome metal feel to Southern Rock that outshines even Molly Hatchet & Blackfoot - 2 of the greatest Southern Rock bands ever created. And one song was all it took, I was hooked.

"Underneath" resonates with the pain and rawness of a shattered heart that rips you open & that is something I absolutely love in a song. But it was "I Will Ramble On" which transitions from that hurt to the anger that follows that spoke to me the loudest. And that was the lyric video I did first. It left me unsatisfied at the end, technical difficulties abounded in the transition from slide-show to video, and although I went ahead and did the upload, I feel it was rushed and not the great video it (and I) wanted. A few days later, in the wee hours of the morning, "Underneath" spoke to my heart and asked for it's turn, and in less than 3 hours, a video was uploaded that verges right on the edge of perfection. My videos are mere shadows of the songs that they are created for, the songs provide the light and substance that give my 'shadows' the chance to exist.

Nothing is worse than the tortured pain of an artist unheard or unseen, these videos serve to ease some of that pain in me, & at the same time, open a small window for other people to "discover" the songs & bands that have inspired me.

I don't do mine randomly, I listen for the voices that speak directly to my heart, so I don't produce near as many as a lot of others out there, but I have already realized that Blacktop Mojo is going to play a large part in the ones I do produce. They are speaking to my heart song after song after song. And make no mistake, these guys are gonna be HUGE in the music industry, and in the very near future. I guarantee it.

The high point of my day today, and the reason for this blog started last night - I have been rolling the ideas for my next video (for their song "Back Home") around in my head, and I had a slight but crucial issue with the lyrics in the very first line of the first verse, nothing big, relatively speaking, is there, or is there not an "a" between two of the other words? But the presence (or not) of that "a" had me stuck and spinning my wheels but not going anywhere... so, not really expecting a reply, I fired a shot in the dark to the band themselves, asking for clarification - shut down my computer and went off to bed... 

This morning, I woke to find that they had ACTUALLY ANSWERED ME - clarified the lyrics and responded to my fear that they might possibly be offended or upset about my turning their music in to the lyric videos (some artists do, you know, they see it as a poaching of a sort) with the response that they think my vids are COOL - so they actually know my videos exist, they have seen them, and were kind enough to provide me with the assistance I was seeking to be able to continue on to the next one. 

I am blown away that these guys (did I mention they are gonna be HUGE??) took the time to answer little ol' me - & offer me encouragement in the process.

I get to go see Blacktop Mojo on May 19th of this year (2018) for the first time live - with my husband who always encourages me (and tolerates the playing of a song over and over til I feel I've gotten it right), my BF Melody, who is responsible for bringing this awesome band to my attention (and her boyfriend), and Christy, (who's an acquaintance on the fast-track to becoming a true, real friend) & (possibly) her ex-not-ex Chad, who is a friend of my hubby's and a part of Christy's life that reminds me of mine & Joe's own story, back in it's earlier years - definitely unfinished business to say the least... 

This will be Christy's first concert EVER. Yeah, I can see already that Blacktop Mojo is gonna be a significant part of the soundtrack of this LONG movie that is my life. And damn, I am glad of THAT. Thanks guys, for your music, for keeping it real as you grow, for everything. 

And as the big day approaches, only 4 days til we get our Mojo on LIVE, I have added Prodigal - Shadows on the Wall - & just this morning, 8000 Miles let me say this one more time to make sure y'all hear me - THIS BAND IS GONNA BE HUGE! CHECK THEM OUT!!

Underneath- Lyrics - Blacktop Mojo

Now THIS one really turned out great!

Blacktop Mojo - I Will Ramble On (Lyric Video)

Personally, I have a few issues with my timing in this one, it was a problem in the transition from slide show to video, which I am trying to work out, & I would like to re-do it soon with more effects, transitions, etc.. -- but the song is BEYOND fantastic, and I couldn't wait to get the lyric video out there... Check it out here